from strip clubs to catwalks: the lucite heel.

do you know where the lucite heel started? the clear platform originally had a slot opening for strip club patrons to put their tips. super classy.

for years the only person who would dare wear this kind of shoe in public is shauna sand:

obviously a greatttt fashion role model...

but it now seems that designers are bringing the lucite heel to high fashion, and i'm kind of loving it.

brooklyn decker is wearing a feminine heel by chloe.

wrapped nude platform by fendi.

neon lucite heels by jimmy choo.

velco strap lucite platforms by prada.

moral of the story: with a few tweaks stripper attire can be fashionable. 

taylor momsen, you're doing it wrong.

ps- you look like a raccoon on quaaludes.

i need shoe rehab...

i was out running errands today and decided to do a quick lap around ross. little did i know i would hit the friggin' shoe jackpot. each pair was only 12$ check it out:

#winning

sole searching: the never-ever-ever edition.

ok so this post should be common knowledge, but there are some clueless people out there so i'm going to spell it out. basically, if you are seen in public with any of the following on your feet, you have resigned to be "that guy" or "that girl."

first and foremost obviously: the croc.

if you are going for the rosie o'donnell look, then by all means wear these rubber monstrosities. 

next, croc's 2nd cousin: the clog.

the ONLY way this style of footwear is acceptable is if it a 6 in. chanel clog, or is you are a milkmaid in holland.

trick this is not 2007: boots with the fur.

this style was over as fast as flo-rida's song got annoying, which was immediately. why wear a boot that makes you look like you have hairy bear legs? 

next up: sketchers shape-ups.

ok lets be real, a clunky rounded sole is not going to make your ass look like a supermodel. what they WILL do is make you look like you have two club feet.

last and certainly not least: the vibram 5-finger shoes.

ok runners, buy some asics like a normal person and stop whining. all these things do is make you look pretentious and creepy.

now for some extra ugly. there are no words.

i don't think even gaga would wear any of those and we all know that bitch is crazy.

DISCOUNTS!!!

i should get paid by bakers and urban og i swear i must be bringing them business with this shit...

anyway, for a LIMITED TIME bakers is offering free shipping on any order and a 25% discount on all boots in preparation for the fall season!

go buy some goodies.

wreckless

rory

chandra

garcia

enjoy.

can i has it: charlotte olympia.

charlotte olympia is a british designer know for leopard prints, wild colors and fan detailing. basically she designs some wild shit and i love it. 

her name is less known than say a certain red-soled designer but her shoes are EVERYWHERE. celebrities like mila kunis, kelly rowland, reese witherspoon, katy perry, SJP, and beyonce are all big fans.

check out the awesomeness:

one of her signatures is the shrunken platform where is slightly smaller than the sole of the shoe.

another of her signatures is an INTENSE stacked wedge. these also come in leopard print. want.

love anything with tons of color and here again you see her shrunken platform.

yes. the heels are filled with fluorescent liquid. bad. ass.

loving dark blue and navy shoes for fall.

unfortunately after drooling over these you have to find out these cost around a grand each :(

shoe shoutout: lala anthony.

i am writing this post in honor of lala anthony's (formerly vasquez) off the charts shoe game.

i'm not really sure what she is famous for other than hosting trashy reality reunion shows and being a socialite a la kimmy k but i won't hold it against her.

lala is recently married to dream boat knicks star carmelo anthony. i think i need to become a basketball wife because they always have the best footwear.

here are some examples of her awesomeness:

fierce louis vuitton cage pumps and she casually sits COURTSIDE. i want her life.

i posted kourt kardash in the same shoes but they are so awesome i think they deserve a second round.

i love a simple shaped shoe that is super sparkly or shiny. give visual interest without conflicting with the dress.

i have also posted about these shoes before. i think it's official i either need to rob a bank and buy these versace pumps or find a knock-off company who makes a decent look-a-like. no luck with either so far.

lala does a thing for her twitter followers called #shoeicide wednesdays where everyone tweets a pic of the shoes they're wearing. this was one of hers. i know i know more loubs and more animal print but i can't move on they're just too beautiful.

i swear baker's should put me on payroll...

TODAY ONLY!!!!

get free shipping on all bakers orders!

this just gave me an excuse to find more cuteness that i need to have. bad news.

H by Halston- $100

kind of steep but i think a hot black pump is kind of a closet necessity. and this one has that awesoem sheer detial...

$90

if you read my blog at all you already know about my love affair with both animal print and wedges. need. too. own. these.

only $69 marked down from $129! what a steal.

i know its early but before long it will be fall and boots are going to cost a fortune so i suggest buying them now while they're super on sale!

tried this one on in the store and it is SOOOOO cute.

ESPY awards red carpet report card

this years ESPY awards this year were full of the good, the bad, and the wtf? 

let's just jump right in because there is a lot of snark to come...

first off, the A+'s:

emmanuelle chriqui from entourage KILLED it. i love when the shoes are the focus of the outfit. A++++ for sure. werk.

close runner-up is maria sharapova. loving the alexander mcqeen dress that was originally floor-length. the shoes are a little matchy matchy which i normally hate but the whole thing works. that being said, if you are an eight and a half foot blonde skinny-bitch you are going to make pretty much anything look good.

rounding out the top 3 is kerry washington.  loving the mini-dress with long sleeves look. her shoes are super shiny (love) and have a pointy toe platform (love). makes sense.

and for the men:

dhani jones. #1. no contest. maybe i am biased because he is a bengal, but it's probably because HE NEVER GOES ANYWHERE WITHOUT A BOW TIE. guys out there (they probably aren't reading shoe blogs but whatev) the bow tie is a trump card. instant sexy. done deal.

nuff said

amare stoudemire gets the runner-up spot for the guys. he is kind of giving me a 7ft tall kanye vibe with the satin, deep-v, and gold chain and i'm liking it.

dallas mavs star dirk nowitzki looked dapper in a suit, and i am LOVING his date's white dress. wish i could see what shoes she had on.

now for the honorable mentions:

danica patrick look alright in all black. i wish she had worn a more playful colored shoe but oh well... 

brooklyn decker is everywhere these days, maybe that's why i bumped her out of the top 3. this dress is giving me michael jackson's jacket in thriller vibes and they hair looks like mine does after a night at the bars. the only reason she is included is THOSE SHOES. lovelovelove. 

*christian siriano voice* FIERCE!

also up for debate is serena. i am trying to love it because that color is great on her, love the bib necklace, and the shoes are great. but the dress itself looks like she tried to squeeze into a church-lady skirt suit that is way too small. sorry boo...

ok so i am liking hank's summer suit. but kendra girl that dress.... i'm sorry it looks like she bought it at the stripper/prom outlet (do those exist?). i will say though, her hair and makeup look great for once. her normal look (over plucked brows and blue eyeshadow) is a little too meth-addict for me.

finally.... the WTFS:

who the fuck is that?? it's jonah hill. wow. good for him for losing weight but he kind of looks like a crack baby. no good. go back to being the fat, funny guy.

and for the biggest WTF of the night i give you giants pitcher brian wilson. there are no words. though i have to commend him, not many guys can pull off a spandex tuxedo.

sole searching: the kardashians.

ok i know most people will read the title and completely give up on this post. i know the kardashians have no real talents and are famous for being famous, but these betches have some serious shoe game.

first and foremost- the obvious sister: kim.

she may be whiny and intolerable most of the time but homegirl has some of the best shoes ever. of the 3 sisters she is the most boring (style and personality) in my opinion.

sister #2: kourtney.

i like kourt because she is a little bit ridiculous. she says absurd things and definitely has the most individual fashion sense. i just can't get over her greasy baby-daddy. ew.

the best sister: khloe.

khloe is my idol. i want her life. and i want to be her best friend. not only is she the funniest and most real of all the sisters, she also has a shoe closet that i want to lock myself in forever.

and to make the deal even sweeter, she gets to be married to that tall drink of water lamar odom.

not. fair.